The Porn Cynic Sex Blog

I just want to upfront say that I find this girl attractive, I really do. I want nothing more than to put my fucking face between her legs and spend the rest of my life licking that clit until she drowns me. What a way to go.

But this is a case of a webmaster not knowing how to sell what he has, which is a shame, because what he has is a woman who is so fucking attractive most of us would dump our girlfriends ON THE SPOT and start fucking her while our now newly EX companion was walking away. Or stood there and watched. Depends on the ex, really.

Now with said lets take a look at the photos.
Jeze Bele at the beach.

First off, its readily apparent that this girl isn’t having a great time, which is a shame, because I’d love to show her a great time if you know what I mean. The last time I took photos of a nude woman I gave her reason to smile but I guess whoever was behind the camera lacks the basic skills it takes to get a woman to smile for the millisecond you take a photo.

Picture 12 features one of my least favorite things, watching a woman attempt to lick her own nipple. Lesbianism is one thing and yes its hot, but licking your own nipple is just a weird sort of masturbation and out of all the women I’ve been with or watched masturbate not a single one of them did this in real life. If you’re one of the thousands of women I’ve been with and you’ve done this and I just forgot though, sorry, I try to block that kind of idiocy the fuck out of my mind. You were probably a lousy lay anyways.

Whats worse though is its readily apparent SHE JUST CANT REACH IT. Its apparent she’s TRYING to do it and has failed. But at least the photographer and webmaster have chosen to broadcast this particular failure all over the internet. That way if her parents find it not only will they be ashamed of her portraying herself as a whore but they can also be ashamed she cant even lick her own titty. “Where did we go wrong, Robert?”. Indeed.

Picture 16 shows you that some women just don’t need to shave their cunts. This looks like a barbie doll. I think its probably the fact that her sexual excitement level at this point on a scale from 1 to 10 is about a negative fourteen and her vagina is completely and terribly lost interest. I’m sure she’s hot, sweaty, those rocks fucking hurt, and the last thing that she’s got in mind is getting fucked. So guess what, folks, her vagina is completely out of the show. This is a total case of limp dick, female style. Great job!

Of particular note is the text on the site. This being my favorite

Monster ground shaking pussy squirting orgasm, Milky Ejaculation with double ended toy sex!

Yup. Milky Ejaculate. Look folks if a woman is shooting a fountain of Milky ejaculate at you, get her to the fucking gynecologist. Either that or get a bag of oreos. (yeah, I said it. You read it, you cant unread it.)

Personally i LOVE the female orgasm. I love the 1/10 girls in the world who can achieve a squirting orgasm. I’ve never been WITH a squirter but I’ve been in the same room AS a squirter watching her squirt and its a fucking site to behold. I’d love to have seen Jeze Bele blow her fucking wad which again is what breaks my heart. You had a model with a unique talent who can apparently have “Monster ground shaking pussy squirting orgasms” and you took her to the fucking beach and sat her on a rock and filmed her unengorged pussy.

YOUR PORN IS BAD AND YOU SHOULD FEEL BAD.

The redeeming feature, of course, is that The free video’s on the site they’re selling are pretty good, and do in fact feature Jeze Belle masturbating, eating cunt, and of course cumming “Ground breaking pussy shaking style”. My particular favorite is in demo video 2 when she literally covers a table in juice. Or piss. Or whatever. I don’t care its fun to watch.

Just be forewarned if you bring Jeze Belle home I recommend you fuck her on the hardwood floors or have a number for a great carpet steamer.

And for fucks sakes don’t take her to the beach.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 8th, 2005 at 9:56 pm and is filed under Porn, The Good. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.