The Porn Cynic Sex Blog

Well, I woke up this afternoon (fuck you its sunday) to an email from a reader letting me know that there is a gallery that’s making the rounds. Apparantly people think its ‘artsy’ and ‘fartsy’ and all together sexy or whatever. I dont get it. I think its stupid. Neither did the person who emailed it to me. In fact he said:

“Call me crazy, but when I jerk off, I generally don’t want to see Uncle Junior’s face leering behind the subpar model.”

Our reader nails it. Look, folks, there is nothing easier in this world than making pornography. The formula is really simple.

1) naked people
2) camera
3) dont fuck it up

Here is a good example of fucking it up. This basically a perfect example of fucking it up. Why? Look at your fucking model. Oh you cant because she’s in the fucking dark with tony soprano on her pussy.

This murdered my erection. It dumped it in concrete, through it in the lake, and/or other various anti-itallian stereotypes of ways it could have murdered my pizza. My favorite being that it sliced it up and used it as pepperoni on a pizza but that’s just gross. Also the last girl that sucked my cock didnt say it tasted like pepperoni so its stupid too.

Thanks to the person who sent this in. You sir are a patron saint of the porn cynic. For those of you who find this kind of shit let us know because if you hate it we’re bound to hate it too. Nothing easier in my life than shitting on whats already shitty.

I’m not sure I agree with the submitter that the model is sub-par though. Truth is I’ve given more than a couple hundred bucks to stripper that werent that attractive just to grind my crotch through my pants. Hey here is a tip, dont wear underwear and get a slim pair of jogging pants that feel pretty good on your cock. Makes it a worth the 200 bucks

Now to get this models phone number, my camera, and turn off my projection screen…

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 10th, 2005 at 5:12 pm and is filed under Porn, The Bad. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.