The Porn Cynic Sex Blog

In a time when my country is at war, one would think that people would have a bit of respect for our troops. The latest insult to our boys and girls in green (or brown in the desert) is this terrible fucking gallery here.

GI JOE!

Imagine you’ve looked over a model website and you’ve found this model. Now you’ve got her in your studio and its time to shoot.

What are we gonna do? Get a blowjob and film it POV style? How about watch her fuck herself with a dildo? Invite a second model over to eat her cunt?

Nah, how about I take my gun and my camo blanket and my kid’s fucking canteen from boyscouts and make an army girl layout. When I’m done I’ll invite her to watch some fucking NASCAR and vote for Bush, then read the bible a while until I punish myself with a knife for having lewd thoughts.

Jesus Christ man, taking a model this fine and shooting softcore is one of the biggest sins of the industry.

Not that I’m entirely sure I want to see this woman naked, the more I look at her face I begin to realize she’s yet another one of these women who shave off their eyebrows then COSMETICALLY REPLACE THEM TO LOOK LIKE SHE HAS EYEBROWS. I STILL don’t know why women DO THAT.

But hey what about this particurly seductive pose. Troll fetish, anyone?

I think I’ll sneak in there and rub her fucking stomach and see if it brings me good luck. I expect to see her on eBay in this exact pose under early 1990’s collectibles.

Not that the folks selling this website are the brightest tools in the shed. She’s at “6 buck fetish” which is laughable at best, but at least they have testimonial from Max E, OH who says “There is definitely stuff in here I’ve never seen before!”. Well that’s fucking great. I’m sure there is plenty of shit that folks from Ohio have never seen, too bad this doesn’t include Diebold voting machines.

For all I know Max E has been in a coma for 14 years and this is the first time he’s even seen a fucking computer. “oh shit THEY PUT VANILLA IN COKE NOW?!?!?!?!” that’s the problem with blurbs from people I’ve never heard of, I’ve never heard of them, so fuck them and fuck their opinions.

Now get me to say “there is shit I haven’t seen in there” and you’ve got a sales pitch because I’ve seen things that make Tubgirl look like a Mormon.

Overall I cant say that this gallery isn’t fappable, Its just a wasted chance of an opportunity. Kind of like the 2004 election.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 7th, 2005 at 2:56 am and is filed under Porn, The Bad. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.